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By Alyssa, January 31, 2011 9:56 pm

As Haus and I were laughing tonight hunched next to our computer watching the latest Office episode, I realized we never watch T.V. on the T.V. anymore.  Last year we switched to the $18 basic cable package and I don’t think we’ve missed any of the other channels… ever.  Besides a little bit of PBS kids, Sports, and JCTV (a Christian music video channel we discovered when we got basic cable), the tube isn’t really on.  It’s hard to even watch that much with the awful commercials.

Have you noticed how horrible commercials are lately?  I can’t watch a football game without telling Bubba to “TURN, BUB!” as he’s trained to do when a demonic face, gory violent scene, or inappropriately clad female pops up during football commercials.  I LOVE Super Bowl commercials but anymore I can’t have my little dudes in the room while they’re on (especially difficult during our annual Super Bowl party).

Oh, and don’t get me started about the language.  Since when is it O.K. for public television characters to say “b#tch” or “a##”?  You’ll never guess what we saw on a commercial tonight watching The Office.  It was some ad for a phone that had this text on it’s screen in big old letters: “LMFAO”.  Yes, I had to look up what that meant, and, no, I am not pleased.   I have a five year old that is starting to read.  Hey mom, what does that mean??

All this to say, I don’t miss our full channeled T.V.  I can see why my grandfather used to call it “stupid vision” and that was in the eighties.  Can’t imagine what he would call it now.  I’m curious what your thoughts are about T.V.  Am I just getting old and cranky or does it seem like T.V. watching makes us a little more stupid the more we see it?

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By Alyssa, January 30, 2011 10:11 pm

Part one of the story is here.

If you are squeamish, don’t like babies, or plain just don’t care about this birth junkie’s birth stories then turn away now.

At the end of one contraction, I felt like a freight train had just pushed it’s way down and out of my rear end. Sorry to be graphic, but it was crazy.  I looked in the water to make sure I hadn’t had an accident and said, “Oh man, I think I need to push.”  Immediately getting me out of the tub, the doula made a quick exterior exam and asked Haus if we would like to call the fire department or head to the closest hospital.  It was 9:30 p.m.

Haus’ eyes got wide as he blurted, “HOSPITAL!” A few minutes later we all piled into our brand new Toyota Tundra.  P.S. This was not how we thought this was going to go.  An average labor for a first-time momma is at least twelve hours and I was headed to the hospital squeezing my butt cheeks to keep from pushing baby out on the floor of our new truck after only 3 1/2 hours of contractions.  Our doula gave Haus directions and she held my face as I tried to blow softly through the biggest urges to push I’d ever felt in my life.  Squeezed in between the back seat, our new car seat, and me, she calmly told Haus after five minutes of driving that he might want to speed.  Blowing through stoplights, we arrived at 10 p.m. at a hospital we had never set foot in (Our midwife at Fort Carson was over 45 minutes away and there was no way I was making it there).

Running a wheel chair up into the elevator, we met two labor and delivery nurses who asked me with sugary voices, “Soooo, how far along are you?”  At the time I was “Whoooo, whooo, whooo”-ing my way through each contraction to resist the grunt-push feeling and didn’t answer.  Haus tersely said 40 weeks before pushing his way through them to a delivery room.  I don’t remember it but Haus said as soon as he pulled the wheelchair up to the room, I dropped my bathrobe in the hallway revealing my birthday suit, and walked calmly towards the hospital bed.  Plopping myself down, I begged for someone to check me.  When someone finally did, the nurse yelled, “SHE’S COMPLETE!” and the room went from one to about twenty scrubbed peeps.

Finally able to push I spent a few minutes reversing my mind as for the past hour all I’d been telling myself was DON’T PUSH.  Exasperated I turned to my doula, and said, “But you told me not to push!”  I also yelled at an anesthesiologist “I DON’T WANT DRUGS!” even though he was just hooking up an IV, and almost kicked the OB I’d never met that was telling me “Just push my hands out” as I thought, GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THERE!  I was a little out of it.

Finally with a gush of effort, Bubba was born at 10:21 p.m., all nine pounds of him!  His hair was dark and curly and his sweet right cheek had a huge dimple as he opened his mouth.  I was in love.  We’d only been at the hospital for twenty minutes.  We didn’t have a camera, we didn’t have a phone, or the video camera.  We laughed and cried and embraced our sweet little boy, not really caring about anything else.

Special thanks to Lou Ann, our amazing doula and friend!

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By Alyssa, January 29, 2011 4:30 am

I’m so excited for this week!  I have six couples taking my childbirth classes and I can’t wait to meet all of them.  One of the first things I do during the first class is tell the birth stories of the boys.  I give them the shortened version, but thought it would be fun to tell the full version here.

If you are squeamish, don’t like babies, or plain just don’t care about this birth junkie’s birth stories then turn away now.

Haus and I got pregnant with Bubba after almost two years of trying to have kiddos.  I’m not going to talk about that struggle here, but I’ll just say this.  It was one of the toughest times of my life.  After we found out we were pregnant, we decided to take a friend’s advice and take Bradley classes.  I had no idea what a life changing experience it would be for Haus and I.  Much like taking our Financial Peace course, Bradley changed our way of thinking about childbirth.

Fast forward to exactly 39 weeks and 6 days preggered with Bubba.  I had not had a SINGLE contraction since being pregnant and was kinda thinking the little dude wanted to stay in there forever.  It was a Sunday morning and I was debating whether I wanted to try some natural induction methods.  I also was sick of the lovely comments I received every day at work from my almost all-male Army coworkers.  You know, like “Wide load coming through” or “She’s gonna blow!” or “My wife never got that big”.  Thinking about those comments and the fact that my weekend was almost over, I took a couple tablespoons of castor oil… to get things moving.

*** IMPORTANT NOTE- I do not condone or suggest taking castor oil as an induction method during pregnancy ***

So there I was sitting on the couch clipping coupons and telling my mom that two hours later and castor oil didn’t do a thing.  Just as the words “didn’t do a thing” left my lips, I dropped the phone, b-lined for the bathroom, and flushed my system completely.  Whoa, I told my mom, check that last statement.  Castor oil sure does clean you out.  About a half hour later, I felt a sudden gush and ran to the bathroom again. Dialing my mom from the bathroom I said, “So, I think I just peed my pants.”  After asking me a couple questions, she responded, “What do I need to do explain to you that your water just broke?”.  This was at 3 p.m.

I called Haus at this point, he came home from his part-time, workin-thru-school job and was excited that I gave him an excuse to watch the end of the Seahawks game.  We called our doula (birth coach) and she was less than pleased that I didn’t call her prior to taking the castor oil.  She told me later that 1 TBS of castor oil was enough if baby was ready to super-speed labor, but 3 TBS, like I took, was the recipe for chaos.  She asked us to call her when contractions started as I STILL didn’t feel a thing and we started getting ready.

By about 6 p.m. I felt like I could feel contractions, but honestly couldn’t tell the difference between them and the awesome stomach cramps the castor oil gave me.  At 7 p.m. I could hear Haus telling the doula I was doing great and there was no need for her to come yet.  The second he got off the phone I went crazy, pregnant lady on him.  I yelled from my position sitting backwards on the toilet, “I am NOT doing great and she DOES need to come.  You better get a watch and start timing these.”  As Haus searched the house for a watch with a second hand (ended up grabbing a paper weight that had a tiny clock in it), I concentrated through contractions by relaxing my entire body and breathing regularly.  After timing a few, Haus got back on the phone with the doula.  Well, he said, she’s having contractions about four minutes apart and I’m pretty sure she would like you to come.

Our doula arrived at 8:30 p.m. and helped me from my permanent spot sitting backwards still on the toilet. Holding my forehead and the back of my head (still not sure why I loved this during labor), Haus coached me through breathing normally and the doula pressed on my back and lightly felt my stomach during contractions.  After about a half hour of this, they decided I might relax more in the tub.  I got down into the tub and sighed peacefully.  It was glorious.  Then I had a feeling I will never forget.

Continued on the next post… (I know, I’m such a stinker!)

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By Alyssa, January 22, 2011 8:57 pm

Books I’m reading right now:
(yes, I constantly have three to four books going at the same time.  English Major, remember?)

Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabladon

The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

The Bible, from start to finish using this program

Don’t Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman

Breaking Free by Beth Moore

Books I want to read:

Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon (as it has taken over my life!)

Birthing from within : an extra-ordinary guide to childbirth preparation by Pam England and Rob Horowitz

The absolutely true diary of a part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie

Good to Great by Jim Collins

Becoming Orthodox: A Journey to the Ancient Christian Faith by Peter E. Gilloquist

Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline by Lisa Whelchel

The Unforgiving Minute: A Soldier’s Education by Craig M. Mullaney

Books I just finished reading:

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay and Dr. Charles Fay

Juliet by Anne Fortier (stayed up till 2am to finish this one)

Still Life with Elephant by Judy Reene Singer

The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker

Books that rate as my favorites: Too many to list!

Comments (3)

By Alyssa, January 9, 2011 9:29 pm

Do your kids go to bed without a peep? Bath and story and kisses then you don’t hear from them until in the morning? Our kids are pretty good about going to bed, but it’s taken a lot of work.

Zeke is in this “hold me, no bed, more milk, one more story, too cold, blankie now” kind of stage when it comes to bedtime. I would probably be lost if it weren’t for a book I read when the Bubsters was six months old. It’s called “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and this book SAVED me and my sanity.

Prior to reading it, Haus and I tried various sleep schedules, routines, techniques, etc. with the boys but nothing really made sense or worked regularly. What I love about the book is that Dr. Weissbluth provides detailed research for all the methods and which helped us choose what would be right to do for our family. Want to co-sleep? Here’s the statistics for how much sleep your kiddos will get and a list of pros and cons. Want to let your kiddo cry it out, full blast, only for a few minutes, or not at all? Dr. Weissbluth gives you pages of information after years of studying children and sleep to see how a choice like that will affect your kiddo’s sleep.  He also gives some pretty standard sleep rules for all ages.  It provides sleep information for children from the newborn stage all the way up to the teen years.  All in one book!  When we started using some of the techniques he detailed with Bubba, the kiddo went from a 8:00 p.m. bedtime with two short naps, to a 6:15 p.m. bedtime, 7:00 a.m. waketime, and two reasonable naps!

So what are we going to do with Zeke and the “I refuse to stay in my bed” stage?  Well, I won’t give you all of the secrets, but I will say that avoiding eye contact, picking him up, placing him in his bed, and leaving the room without speaking like Dr. Weissbluth suggests totally works.  We’re on the first night, so it took an hour of this, but I know that tomorrow will be easier and the next day will be sweet.  Why do I know this?  It worked with Bubba and it worked with other friends that are fans of the book.

So do yourself a favor, no matter what stage your kiddo is in, and grab that book!