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By Alyssa, July 27, 2010 10:13 pm

I would love to have more kiddos.  Hubby Haus is all for more kiddos, as long as we are debt-free (read this original post).  I’ve got all the cloth diapers I need, the clothes (well, if I have a girl in the future, she’s going to be wearing a lot of blue), and the baby stuff.  The only thing I don’t have is a car that fits more than two car seats.  I drive the boys in a Toyota Camry and, although our Toyota Tundra could squeeze three little dudes in the back seat, Haus stopped letting me drive it once Bubba referred to it as “Mommy’s truck”.

Since we are within a month of debt-free-ness (didn’t happen in June because Haus surprised me with a new laptop), we’ve had more than a few discussions about another vehicle.  Here are our requirements:

- Seating for at least 5 normal sized peeps, preferably seating for 7 (normal means my 6’5″ hubby could somewhat fit in the back row)

- All-Wheel-Drive or at least 4-Wheel-Drive

- Leather seating (2 boys, one dog, enough said)

- Around 60, 000 miles or less

- We’d prefer a Toyota as we love our mechanic and have been faithful Toyota owners for ten years

- We’re paying cash… haven’t made a car payment in years

I researched All-Wheel-Drive vehicles, and the only one Toyota makes that we can afford is the Sienna.  The Swagger Wagon.  I told myself a long time ago that I would never buy a minivan, but then I watched this:

And I realized that instead of making a prideful decision, the mini is within our price range, meets all of our needs, and serves our last requirement, fits our kids and their friends.  Sure, I’d really love a Sequoia, but we can’t afford that right now.  Besides, the Sienna videos are stinking hilarious.

I guess I’d love to hear your opinion.  Do you own a minivan?  Are you totally against minivans?  Why?

Oh, and, no, I’m not pregnant.  Just preparing.

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By Alyssa, June 30, 2010 8:02 pm

I lost it Monday afternoon.  Lost it.  Fell back on my bed, rubbed my eyes and temples to ease a ferocious headache, and tried to convince myself that I was a good mom as both of my boys cried on timeout in their rooms.

Earlier that day my almost-two year old cried and screamed his way, out of the library, from the park playground to the car, and from the grocery checkout to the parking lot to our house.  Why?  He wanted and I didn’t want.  When he didn’t get what he wanted, his entire body crumpled limp to the floor, pavement, sidewalk forcing me to drag or football carry him to our next destination.

To add to the mayhem, my 4 and 1/2 year old decided moments before each of his brother’s tantrums to ask me every possible question he’d saved during our past two weeks (or maybe his whole life) apart.  ”Why is my car seat on this part of the seat, Mom?” “When do I turn 5?” “Why are we going here?” “Why?” “Where?” “When?”

I love my kids.  I love my 24-hour job staying at home with them.  I would be lying if I said that I love every single minute though.  I find when it gets really tough, I have to take one day at a time.  One hour sometimes.  Ask anyone about this concept on day one of a military deployment.  One day at a time.  Motherhood difficulties aren’t exactly on the same scale as deployment difficulties but the required patience applies to both.

Lying on my bed Monday afternoon I reminded myself that it would take a few days for the kids to calm from their “grandparent mania”.  I also reminded myself that it would take me a few days to adjust from my full-time Army routine.  I took a couple deep breaths, gathered them from their rooms, and apologized that mom lost her patience.  As they giggled a few minutes later sharing snacks, I sighed and thought, one day at a time.

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By Alyssa, May 16, 2010 7:43 am

Dishwasher to empty.  Laundry to fold.  Floor to sweep.  Dishes to wash.  Toilets to scrub.  Laundry to wash.

This list runs like a teleprompter in my head.  Being at home with my boys means, well… we’re home and thus the house gets dirtier faster.  In between wrangling my toddlers, I seem to always be cleaning.  I’m in a bible study with a group of other toddler moms and we were discussing how easy it is to become depressed by the situation.  Usually these tasks are just done and our family doesn’t notice that someone is doing them.  Being applauded and appreciated every minute of the day isn’t a common theme associated with staying home with the kids.

I listened to my friends encourage one another while addressing the dull and dreary of stay-at-home mom life and as the conversation lulled, I piped up, “I know that there are times when I am frustrated by the monotony of chores, but I don’t think I’ve ever been at a point where I thought I wasn’t supposed to be doing what I’m doing now.”

I continued, bouncing sweet Zeke on my knee, “I think once you have to rely on someone else to raise your kids completely, to run your household, you are always thankful for the time that you have with them.”

Pausing, I tried to word my thoughts.  How could I explain to these women, without coming off as self-righteous, what it was like to completely miss Bubba’s 18 month to two year stage?  When I deployed, he was 17-months-old, a little younger than Zeke’s age now.  I relied on my little sister and a nanny to raise him during the day and my husband to handle everything in between.

I tried to explain, “I’m transitioning Zeke to one nap right now and you’d think I’d be all over it since Bubba was transitioned at this age.  But I didn’t do that job, my little sister, the one in college without kids?  She did it.  I’ve been calling her asking her exactly what she did so that I can repeat it with Zeke.  I never want to have to have someone explain to me the stages of my child again and that’s why I don’t think I will ever regret helping them through their stages now.”

I stopped as my friends continued to talk and discuss.  It wasn’t until I was driving home that afternoon, I realized why I’d always be thankful with my current job.  It was a hard reality to call my sister for advice or completely depend on others to raise my kids, but lots of moms call for advice and employ caretakers.  I think the kicker for me was that when I deployed there was that chance that I would never come back.  When I left I knew that not returning was a possibility.

As I write this post, my dishes need washed and my laundry needs folded, but I know that I came home safe three years ago to be just the woman strong enough to do those chores.  They may not earn me any medals, but being here for my family, getting that chance to provide for them, that’s joy enough for me.

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By Alyssa, April 17, 2010 10:20 am

I had an amazing plan.  I would pack up with seven of my closest girlfriends and spend the weekend in Steamboat Springs, Colorado.  We’d laugh, we’d cry, lots of estrogen would be involved.  Then I realized how much I’d been away from home.  With over two weeks in Korea and then recovering from jet lag, and a trip to the South last week, I’ve barely been here.  My kids and Hubby have noticed.

After a long talk with Hubby, we decided to have a family weekend instead.  I had my regrets, when Zeke’s 45 minute cry-fest coincided with all of my friend’s excited Facebook status updates.  But then Bubba and Zeke fell on me in a group hug, settled down for bed early, and Hubby and I snuggled on the couch for a movie night-in.

I’m sure at this very moment all of my closest friends are laughing and crying and, well, bonding while I’m here with my Hubby and kids.  It was a tough choice, but one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

P.S.  Hey girlfriends, if you’re reading this I’m attaching the following pictures with captions just as if I was there.

"That was so funny!"

"Wow, these Hot Springs are HOT!"

"And then, when I was five years old..."

"Yes! I am this scary when I'm hungry. Let's eat!"

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By Alyssa, March 3, 2010 10:25 pm

I’m trading in my PB & J encrusted outfits (thanks to my 18-month-old) for boots and Army camo as I head off to train with my National Guard unit tomorrow.  I was going to write a long, witty post to keep you entertained for the next few weeks, but honestly, all I can think about is leaving my sweet little boys.  Hard to believe that three years ago about this time I was saying goodbye to then 18-month-old Bubba as I left for my second deployment to Iraq.  This time is definitely not as painful, but it still isn’t fun.  I’m going to miss Hubby and those boys.

*Sigh* If you want to count down the days until I’m home too, you can make a handy paper chain like this one:

Took Hubby three days to notice it next to the fridge.  He asked me who was going to read the notes to Bubba.  Silly Hubby, along with taking care of our house and the children and your job, of course, you’re going to read my little notes to our son.  He was excited… I think.  Anyway, 17 little paper chains until I’m back with my boys.  The countdown begins…