Four months ago I became a single parent. After hating his job for almost a year, Haus came across an opportunity to work a short term engineering contract in Portland. We prayed and talked and prayed and he decided to take it. He quit his job on a Tuesday in May, worked until Friday, then packed up over the weekend, and hit the road that Monday for Portland.
He left without a solid timeframe for returning to Denver and, oh yeah, with me 19 weeks pregnant with our third kiddo. Crazy? Maybe. I didn’t feel like I could argue at the time as I’d left him on pretty short notice twice before during my overseas Army deployments. The first week after he was gone, I thought, I can do this. I’ve deployed before, I know friends that have done this while their husbands were deployed…. no worries.
Then I realized I needed someone to mow the lawn pronto, my two-year-old lost his mind having Daddy away, and a neighbor tried to verbally assault me at a block party knowing my hubby was out of town. That was week two of our separation. Thank goodness I had some good support around me. A girlfriend’s hubby volunteered to mow our lawn every two weeks, Haus started a webcam schedule with our little guys which helped them immensely, and the rest of my neighbors banded together to support me despite the one bad apple on the block.
Unlike my military spouse friends, I had opportunities to see Haus during our time apart. I took a hard look at the calendar and made a last minute trip up to Idaho in June so that Haus could spend 24 hours with us, vacationed for two weeks in July as a family in Portland, and made it through August on my knees praying as Haus negotiated a permanent job back here. Around the end of August, we found out he would return for good on September 10th and the boys and I made our paper chain link countdown.
I learned two very important lessons during the last four months. Lesson 1- having your hubby away while you’re preggered with two small children stinks, period. If it weren’t for friends that wouldn’t take “we’re fine” for an answer, I would have lost it on a daily basis. Lesson 2- I will NEVER compare myself again to a military momma that has her hubby away. They are ten times tougher than I am as their husbands are usually gone for more than a year, in a dangerous place, and they only get a two week spouse visit OR LESS during the separation.
We picked up Haus from the airport this morning so right now it seems like the time flew by. Then again there were nights during the last four months when I really wondered if I could do it another 24 hours. Enough whining for today though, it was tough, it is over, and I’m going to go watch some football with my Hubby. If you were one of those that helped us out, I cannot thank you enough, and if you’re a military mama with your man deployed, I’m praying for his safe and quick return.
The boys and their just-returned Daddy
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