Stinking National Guard

By Alyssa, May 3, 2010 11:12 am

***Warning- This post includes dialog with obscenities***

“Oh great, we’ll be protected by a Guard unit,” huffed one of my Soldiers as we stacked Army cots in preparation for our move. I wrinkled my brow and continued stacking as the spring humidity off the Kuwaiti shoreline crept through the warehouse doors. After packing all of our vehicles and missile launchers in less than twelve hours on a base stationed in Qatar, we’d slept in the open bay of a Kuwaiti construction warehouse for less than a week and it was time to move again.

“What’s wrong with the Guard?” I asked in between the clank of the cots slowly piling up. The soldier shrugged and paused twisting his lower back to stretch, “You’ve seen them, L.T. National Guardsmen and Reservists are walking all over this post. They’re fat and lazy and their uniform looks like sh*t.” He grabbed another cot and tossed it on top of the pile, “Now those fat f**ckers are going to be guarding our asses across the Iraqi border.”

I straightened the last of the cots as he pulled out his pack of smokes. ”Some Guard guys from Florida, I guess,” he mumbled with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. ”Well, see ya, L.T.,” he added and walked toward the smoke area. I thought about his remarks while packing the last of my green duffel bags. None of my soldiers knew that my dad was a reservist too and taught me the opposite of fat and lazy. He taught me about discipline and doing my best. Oh, and my dad’s boots were always shined too.

It didn’t take long after setting up in the middle of the Iraqi desert for my disillusioned soldier to see similar qualities in the Florida National Guard Infantry unit. After only a few weeks together, we learned that many of them were being passed over for civilian promotion and taking large pay cuts to serve on their deployment. At that time in March 2003, Congress was yet to update bills protecting Guardsmen’s civilian careers while deployed. I was impressed then with the Infantrymen’s dedication to our country. When our unit rolled back into Kuwait and received orders to return home, their unit continued the mission for more than six months while we were home.

My view of the National Guard remains the same now that I’ve been serving with a unit for over a year. The soldiers within my unit possess multiple skills are well-rounded and mature. Besides serving part-time in the Army, they are police officers, technical advisers, small business owners, well… and one stay at home mom (that’s me!). Sure I’ve met a few fat and lazy Guardsmen in the last year, but none of them were in my unit. It doesn’t make any sense to me to compare the two sects of the Army, as I believe both equally share the best and the worst.

I’d forgotten the rivalry until I became the supporting Guardsmen during an exercise in Korea last month. About halfway through the training, some of the active duty friends I’d made realized I was in the Guard. “Wait,” one of them said aghast, “YOU are in the Guard?” I smirked a little as I guess it meant that I hadn’t looked too fat or lazy that day. ”Yup,” I stated. ”I’m in the stinking National Guard.” I paused and smiled, “Got a problem with that?”