Here’s what a regular phone call looks like when I’m at home calling Hubby at work.
Me: Hey, wanted to remind you that… BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… (blahing goes on for a couple more minutes)
Me: Do you think you could pick up… BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… (blahing goes on for a bit more before I forget what I’m talking about and then spend five minutes or so getting back on topic)
Me: Well, thanks, honey. Oh, and the funniest thing happened when I… BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, (Insert long, drawn out story) Gotta go. Love you!
Hubby: Uh-huh. Love you.
Now here is how the phone call went when I called Hubby from my Army National Guard drill today. I usually don’t work weekends, but they let me make an exception for the 4-year-old birthday extravaganza I have planned this weekend (more on that later).
Me: Hey, hon. How’d it go today?
Hubby: Good. I got that stuff done we talked about.
Me: Sweet. Want me to text you when I’m ready?
Me: Great. Talk to you later.
Hmmm. See any difference? I didn’t really notice anything until I was driving home with Hubby today (Oh, by the way, Grandma’s in town. I know you thought I left the boys with our chocolate lab for the day). Stuck in Denver traffic, Hubby looked over and chided me, “You’re talking like a guy again.” What? If it hadn’t been for that cute look on his face, he might have been in trouble for that one. “I’d forgotten,” he said, “because it’s been so long since I’ve had to call you at your unit. You talk to me completely differently when you’re in uniform.”
I thought about it for a second and chuckled a little. He was right. I’d never really put my finger on it, but in uniform, I communicate completely differently. I think it started with one of my first bosses. He would only listen to the first dozen words out of my mouth before interrupting, “And your point?” He was the extreme, but, in the process of eight years in the military, I’ve learned how to man-talk.
Man-talk. Here’s my secret, ladies. It’s definitely not rocket science and you can tell from my regular conversations with Hubby, I don’t use it all of the time. First man-talk secret: I think about everything I’m going to say before I say it. Crazy? If you know me very well, you’d know that most of the time I blab whatever hits my lips far before it’s meandered up to my brain. Most of the guys I’ve worked with want a one-line-answer which made me learn the art of concise responses.
Second key to man-talk: DON’T TALK. Unlike talking with my girlfriends, dudes don’t really care about the details and don’t need to know the nitty-gritty. You may laugh at me, but when I’m with a bunch of Army guys, half the time I’m telling my brain, “Shut-up. Shut-up. Shut-up.” This technique has saved me from saying a lot of very stupid things. It’s completely contrary to my nature not to want to add to the conversation, but the more you are with a bunch of guys you realize that they don’t really talk at the same time like women do.
So there you have it. Man-talk is pretty much keeping things down to five words or less and thinking everything through. Pretty boring if you ask me. I think men really miss out on woman-talk. You know. Everyone talking at the same time, louder and louder, not sure what we are talking about, but loving every minute of it. Army man-talk works for me when I’m outnumbered ten dudes to one, but I much prefer the no-point, convoluted conversations that I submit to Hubby on a daily basis. I’m pretty lucky really. I live with a guy that knows I can man-talk, but let’s me blah, blah, blah as much as I want to. Thanks, Hubby.
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